To Risk

Risk taking is an essential skill for young people to learn. Teenagers are often accused of engaging in excessively risky behaviour.

Yet this is not always the case; some young people don’t like to take many risks at all.

We need to teach young people to take calculated risks.

Often teenagers and children lack foresight. They don’t think beyond the next moment and need instant gratification. Taking risks, trying a new food, or sport are essential skills that should be encouraged.

I like to share the following poem with some of the young people I talk with.

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool,
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out to another is to risk involvement,
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return,
To live is to risk dying,
To hope is to risk despair,
To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow,
But he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or live.
Chained by his servitude he is a slave who has forfeited all freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.
The pessimist complains about the wind;
The optimist expects it to change;
And the realist adjusts the sails.

William Arthur Ward

Enjoy your computer!

MySpace and FaceBook are the most well known social networking sites available to young people.  A fourteen year old girl once told me that she spent over 5 hours one night working on her MySpace profile. She was updating her profile and sending messages to her friends. When I asked how much time she spent on home work, she replied, “none!”

Young people need a few guidelines when it comes to internet usage. Internet and technology addiction in young people is increasing.

Education is the key to helping young people understand how to use technology safely and effectively; to their benefit, rather than to their detriment!

MySpace guidelines

1. Respect – yourself and your friends.
2. Privacy – in most cases profiles should be private.
3. Photos – just remember that every photo you put up can be downloaded and saved. Use low resolution in your images. Ask yourself – how will I feel in a few years time if people saw this photo?
4. Content – you don’t have to write for your Grandma to read, but be mindful that anything you put online can be captured (i.e. with a screen shot) and saved to use months or even years later!  Don’t misuse other people’s content. It’s simply not nice to take a picture of one of your friends and add a “funny” caption to it. This can easily be misinterpreted and hurtful.
5. Time Limit – in most cases, it is best to set a time limit on how much time you spend on My Space. Maybe do your homework before you go online?
6. Friend access – it is great to have lots of online friends, but be careful who you add as a friend. Not everyone online is who they appear to be! It is best to add people who you have physically met and know.
7. Screen name – try to use a screen name or a nick name. Limit information that can be directly traced back to you.
8. Security – try to use a secure password and secret question. People who know you well might be able to easily guess your password, or unlock your password through your secret question. Try to use numbers and letters in a random order.
9. Be positive – try to leave uplifting and positive messages for your friends. MySpace is not the place to fight or resolve conflict.  Everyone likes to receive positive messages that make them feel good.
10. Have fun! – As that is what it is all about!

Download a lesson plan for MySpace use.

Teenagers

All teenagers need clear expectations. They need structure, clear consequences and a consistent approach.

Developmentally, teenagers are seeking:

• Independence
• Control
• Choice
  and
• Identity

Teachers and parents need to model ideal behaviours.

Imposing heavy-handed discipline sets up unnecessary confrontation which is often counter productive.

It is important to talk about ideal behaviours, to be more reflective, and to find constructive and cooperative approaches. Teenagers will work collaboratively with teachers and guardians they respect.

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Learning to grow

There was a recent article about raising smart kids in Scientific American Mind (Vol 18, No.6). The main idea conveyed was the need to foster a ‘growth’ mind set in learners.

Apparently, the key to success at school is not so much intelligence as it is effort.

Research suggests that while our society values superior intelligence and ability, an over-emphasis on intellect or innate talent can leave students vulnerable to failure, fearful of change or unmotivated to learn.

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This is a whisk, not a WISC!

The Wechsler Intelligence Scale for Children is referred to as the WISC. (No, not that type of whisk!) The WISC consists of a series of short sub tests that are used to assess cognitive ability. Usually the scores are consistent across the lifespan.

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Be safe online

Technology can be of immense benefit but unfortunately it can also be used to cause harm to others. For example, it is often much easier to make a hurtful comment via text in an instant message, email or SMS, than to say the same thing in person.

Cyber Safety is an essential responsibility for educators, parents and students.

What is cyber bullying?

Cyber bullying is the use of technology to intentionally cause harm to others. Bullying usually involves a differential of power, where there is a clear victim or victims and perpetrator. However, any act that causes intentional harm to others can be viewed as bullying.

Cyber bullying is bullying via information and communication tools such as the internet or a mobile phone. It is a growing concern in our gadget-obsessed generation. While cyber bullying may not take place at school, it has detrimental effects to the school community.

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Starfish

Most of the inspiration for this blog will come from my work as an educational psychologist in a school and in private practice. I will reflect on my daily experiences and provide tips, resources and useful information for counsellors and psychologists working within a school environment.

I will also provide general tips and advice for teachers, parents and students on various psychological and welfare issues.

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