Understanding Negative Emotions
While negative emotions have the potential to be destructive, it is also important to understand them and learn to control them, so they don’t control you.
Negative emotions include sadness, anger, jealousy, hate and severe anxiety. These emotions can impede your ability to cope with everyday situations. However, negative emotions are a natural part of life and they provide a reference point for positive emotions.
Negative emotions are often natural and appropriate but it is how you express your emotions that really determines whether they are constructive or destructive.
For example, it is natural to feel resentful when you have been left waiting by a friend who arrives extremely late without reasonable justification, or to feel sad when a loved one dies. However, if you express your anger by yelling at someone or even ignoring them, this will probably lead to destructive outcomes.
Be aware of the possible negative emotions that you might experience and learn ways to identify and deal with them.
Children need to learn the difference between positive and negative emotions not only for survival reasons, but also to develop emotional intelligence and resilience. Most emotional intelligence programs for children include information on how to recognise and understand different types of emotions, as well as problem solving and coping with negative emotions in a constructive way.
Emotions have a biological component. Emotions are experienced as physical sensations in the body and the brain responds to these sensations by stimulating further neural and hormonal responses and also with higher level thought which adds additional layers of meaning to the emotions. This complex process can ultimately either have a positive or negative effect on your wellbeing.
There are many ways to deal with negative emotions. Here are a few suggestions:
- Replace negative thinking patterns with more constructive and productive thoughts.
- Exercise! Get regular exercise and try to exercise even when you don’t feel like doing anything.
- Eat healthy food. Aim for a balanced diet with healthy foods and only occasional small treats.
- Don’t blow things out of proportion and focus only on the negative aspects of a situation.
- Try to understand your negative emotions and the things that trigger these emotions.
- Learn to relax. Consider taking a yoga or meditation class or listening to relaxing music.
- Leave the past in the past. There is no use worrying about what you can’t change. Quote: “The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there.” – L.P. Hartley
- Seek professional counselling help if required. Don’t be afraid to try a different counsellor if you do not feel comfortable with someone.
- Learn about grief and try to understand the grieving process.
- Sleep well. Try to develop a regular sleep schedule and keep to the routine, even on weekends.
- Set realistic and achievable goals and work towards them.
- Celebrate the small things in life. Take time to smell the roses, talk with a child or stroke your pet.
- Think about the good things you have achieved in your life.
- Look on the bright side of the situation.
- Understand that life is not always easy, however it is often in our darker periods that we search for answers and find meaning.


