Teaching and Parenting Teenagers
Teenagers
All teenagers need clear expectations. They need structure, clear consequences and a consistent approach.
Developmentally, teenagers are seeking:
- Independence
- Control
- Choice
and - Identity
Teachers and parents need to model ideal behaviours.
Imposing heavy-handed discipline sets up unnecessary confrontation which is often counter productive.
It is important to talk about ideal behaviours, to be more reflective, and to find constructive and cooperative approaches. Teenagers will work collaboratively with teachers and guardians they respect.
Teach teenagers to think like a chess player!
Respect is a key element in any relationship, and especially so for teenagers. Some key elements include:
- Focusing on the behaviour not the person. Personal comments about physical appearance, friendships or family are unnecessary.
- Don’t set limits that you can’t enforce.
- Don’t lecture or preach, try to seek a cooperative approach.
- Don’t set up unnecessary confrontation and argue with the teenager.
- Try to recognise teenagers efforts and praise and encourage them every chance you get!
- Teenagers need to feel loved, respected and appreciated.
- Listen to your teenagers.
All teenagers struggle for independence and it is common in almost every culture for teenagers to challenge their parents and significant adults in their lives.
Teenagers can make decisions but often have little foresight. Teach teenagers to think like chess players: Before they make a move, what will be the consequences of each choice and where will it ultimately lead?